Thursday, June 19, 2014

Struggles with Celiac and Anxiety

I've debated a long time on writing a blog post about the anxiety that comes along with being a Celiac...and I'm finally doing it!  This may not be with all Celiacs or those with food allergies -but, it certainly is with me!!!  I've always been a very anxious person, and not fond of social setting -but, always managed to pull it together and no one ever realized.  As I've gotten older, being diagnosed with Celiac & Crohns my anxiety has heightened.  I've noticed that I am quicker to pull away from people because so many just don't understand the life of a Celiac, and how every social setting revolves around food -so, for me it's easier to go into shut down mode.  To be honest, most of my family & friends don't know this about me.

For a little bit, I went through an "oh well if I get contaminated"...and then I got contaminated.  Well, this contamination was the all mighty contamination!  I haven't been that sick from a contamination in a very long time, and I certainly am no longer in the "oh well if I get contaminated" mindset.  My guts freaked out so badly that I almost passed out not once -but, 3 times! The contamination feeling oh so quickly refreshed my mind why I'm typically so anal with food preparation, and usually stay away from eating out or food prepared by others.  You bet I'm now back on track, and being strict!  Sadly, now that I've been contaminated at a place I've always trusted, I'm back to being my old anxious self sticking to just eating at home!  Oh the life of a Celiac or living with a food allergy, right?!?!

I've always been the type of person who is anxious to please other, and I've finally realized I need to stop!  All the anxiety is wearing on my body more than celiac & crohns -so, it's time to make some changes in my life, right? This year, I finally realized enough is enough, and have been trying my best to put me first.  After all, if I don't take care of myself I can't be the best mom for my baby girl, and wife/daughter/sister/friend!  It can get pretty challenging for me at times -but, could never get through it all without my extremely supportive husband, family and friends.  I'm truly blessed...especially since my nearest and dearest friends accept me for me...anxiety & food issues and all!  This winter, great friend introduced me to hot yoga; which is perfect outlet to help to better myself, and relieve some anxiety.  If you haven't tried it, I highly recommend it.  The hot yoga may not be for all -but, believe yoga in general is amazing.

I'm hoping this post hit home with some of you, and mainly just lets other know they aren't alone.  I'm hoping by me finally putting this out there it lets someone know they aren't alone!   Hoping you appreciate my being honest, and no judgement.  

4 comments:

  1. Melanie - well said. I also have some anxiety with being Celiac. Worried about eating out and getting it explained well enough to the server. Also at every social function peering at the food, asking "what is in this? What brand seasoning packet? Is it chip bag here so I can read ingredients? " I have had some looks from people who don't know me.

    Stay with blog. This is a wonderful outlet for the anxiety.

    Lari G

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    1. You beyond made my day, Lari..thank you! It sure was nerve-racking for me to put this post out there -but, it felt good!

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  2. I hate group picnics and potlucks. Buffets are evil things to be avoided at all costs. Parties are things that I won't be able to eat at unless I bring something GF myself. I only go to certain restaurants and still worry about getting glutened (I even request plastic silverware for 2 reasons, my wrists have issues with heavy silverware due to ulnar impaction and less chance for cross contamination). One of the reasons I haven't been back to my church is that it is followed by a community meal. I plan when I will eat so that I can go to parties without having to eat. I understand the anxiety. I feel it all the time. Though, I think, for me it's more exasperation, frustration, and simple nerves. Ive learned to plan ahead and bring things that I can at least eat, even if they aren't full meals. I hate the feelings of depression it raises in me much more. The feeling that I don't matter because my dietary restrictions are ignored or overlooked. There is nothing fun about sitting at a wedding surrounded by people eating food, especially wedding cake, when you can eat none of it, and a when a few years ago you would have loved it. Or being treated as though I'm being ridiculous when I do or say something about my dietary restrictions.I've not traveled since my diagnosis. I'm too afraid to do that at this point.

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    1. Travel is a big issue for me too, and one of the reasons we LOVE Disney! Not a worry at all, and SO many options for SAFE food. Plus, it's always fun to be a kid again!! Anxiety in social setting is no fun for sure.

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